8 months dry

2004-05-26 - 8:33 a.m.

Ick. That last entry was kind of ick. I'm going to chalk it up to feeling nervous about going home next week.

It's been just about 8 months since my last drink, two-thirds of a year. I'm doing okay...I get weak moments, akin to that scene in The Simpsons when Homer gives up beer and suddenly he's surrounded by beer advertisements, including a beer-toting train "chug-a-lugging" across his path. There's a vodka company that rolled out its new ads, which play mainly on the comedy network, I think, just when I was first quitting the booze. Really nice commercials that probably only work on recovering alcoholics.

Right now, though, drinking isn't an issue. I'm coasting...this not drinking thing is easy. The worst thing is deciding whether or not to be closetted about it. I'm dreading the possibility that I might have to reveal my non-drinking status to my parents, mostly because of that teenage-esque need to keep secrets from your parents at all costs...it would be like trying to talk with them about sex, which I did when I was a teenager, so I think we've all put our dues in.

The biggest thing is that it feels like I'm a failure, in some small way. Admitting that I can't (or shouldn't) drink is admitting weakness...others have an ability that I don't. And then there's the perception....people who didn't know me when I did drink (like the D&D crew) react to me just a little weirdly when the subject of booze comes up, and I want to tell them that I'm not like "that". I hate being the reason why someone might not get wasted. I hate being seen as the wet blanket.

But those are all minor things right now. Summer - patio season - might be tough, but I think I can handle it. I'm pretty confident that I'll make it to a full year of being sober, and that's pretty okay.

In other news, I saw a man in his thirties skateboarding to work. The board was old, worn-in, and looked almost comfortable as he stood on it, sipping his coffee. I liked the idea that, ten, fifteen years ago this man discovered a favoured mode of transportation and that he's kept it with him into adulthood. There's no law that says only teenagers get to have fun.

Cheers,

The Magus

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