Crushed

2004-03-01 - 6:11 p.m.

Urg. I'm tired, and it's only Monday. Do people really work five days a week, week after week? Really? Ick.

Anyway, so last night I went to play Dungeons and Dragons with some very nice gay boys, and there's a possibility that I am crushing on one of them.

I don't think I'm emotionally mature enough for a crush. In fact, I'm pretty certain that, in the crushing department, I am age 8. Someone stop me if I start singing showtunes.

Anyway, I probably won't see the object of the crush for another two weeks, which is good, because, alas, this crush must be destroyed.

It's healthy to be infatuated with people: after all, it's been five months, and even though I'm no where near finished working through the end of one relationship, it's natural that parts of me are ready to start a new one.

But there's a lot of stuff going on in my head, stuff like fear, guilt, giddiness, uncertainty...ack. It's ugly in here. I can't even really explain it yet. It's probably more than one entry.

But, the reason why this crush has to die is because, after only a couple of hours of talking with this guy across a table littered with miniatures, dungeon maps, and different-sided dice, I think I could really like this guy. I think that, if he's as great as he seems, I might want to pursue something with him. But I'd want to wait until I'm ready.

Oh yeah, there's a sense of perspective: four hours and I'm ready to get married. Yeesh.

Cheers,

The Magus

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