Not Drinking, For A Long Time

2003-12-04 - 9:00 a.m.

I had my first drinking dream yesterday.

From what I understand, drinking dreams are relatively common for people who stop drinking. I don't know exactly why they happen, but I think I may have had a smoking dream or two after I quit smoking. So far as I know, I haven't had any coffee-drinking dreams since I stopped drinking coffee. I have had water-drinking dreams since I started drinking more water, but those usually mean I have to pee.

In the dream, I had a draught of beer and was hanging out with some people (Pookie and maybe a friend or two) in a bar. We were having a good conversation and generally having a good time, and then, after I'd drunk about half of the glass, I realized that I wasn't supposed to be drinking, and I didn't know what to do with the rest of the beer, whether to give it away or to just finish the glass and then stop.

I didn't want to waste the beer, and so, in the dream, I think I chose to finish the glass, although I think the dream either changed or ended before I did.

This was also the first dream I've ever had where I could actually taste something. Dream beer, like real beer, tastes good. I'll just have to live with that, I guess.

In real life, I'm still not drinking, and on Monday it will have been 10 weeks.

I was asked the other day if I was giving up drinking forever, and being asked sort of shocked me. I think I know inside that it will be forever, but there's a part of me that wants to say it isn't forever, that some day I might miraculously be able to reliably control how much and when I drink, as well as how I behave while drunk.

I told the person who asked that I wouldn't be drinking again for a long time. I think that was a decent answer.

In other news, I didn't get to see the apartment, because it wasn't ready yet, but I am absolutely, with 100% certainty, going to see it today. In about 30 minutes, actually. I'll let everyone know how that turns out.

Cheers,

The Magus

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