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I Have Agoraphobia! See my Agoraphobia!
Tenacious D Rocks.
Stretched patience.
2003-01-10 - 7:23 a.m.
And I cannot win.
I am five months into going to the gym on a regular basis (except for the Nano thing) which puts me exactly 7 months away from having gone for a full year. That's the good news. Now for the bad.
A couple of years ago, while Pookie was in Toronto and I was still in Halifax, I put on maybe 30 or 40 pounds. This wasn't surprising, since I ate poorly, and the most excercise I got was walking to and from work, 10 minutes each way, every day. I ended up getting stretch marks on my belly, which is fine if you're a woman who has recently been pregnant, I suppose, but in all the pictures I've seen of men in magazines (a reliable source for body-image comparisons, I'm told), not one of them has had stretch marks.
So, I'm going to the gym, and while I have not lost a single pound of the 30 or 40 that I gained, I -am- slimming down. Presumably, Pookie is jealous of my stick-to-it-ive-ness and has started feeding me lead balls in my sleep so that I might be discouraged by the lack-of-weight loss. Or, muscle is more dense than fat. Whatever. The point is that the stretch marks, while still there, are fading, and I have hope that one day they will be secondary to the wall of rippling abs.
The problem?
I now have stretch marks under my armpits and along the sides of my chest, because my muscle is getting bigger than my skin in those areas (Yes! I have armpit muscles! Or something. It's the end of my work shift. I'm tired. Pretend to laugh.)
In the winter, my skin gets dry. I realise this. I do try to moisturize, to no avail, mainly because I am a slacker and hate to spend more than a few minutes preening in front of the mirror (I'm a functional abluter: shower, sometimes shave, brush my teeth, sometimes floss, comb my hair and I'm done), and moisturizing just ain't my thing.
I guess, though, that if I'm too lazy to take action against skin-stretching, I probably shouldn't complain too much about it, but it really is a kick in the teeth.
Grar!
Cheers,
The Magus
