Keep yer lid on!

2002-05-28 - 9:13 a.m.

Okay.

I am a slob. A big slob. The house is, has been, and maybe always will be a mess. I try to clean up, and when I really make an effort, the place can look half-decent. But then a day goes by, and clothes get left on the floor by the bed, and books get left on the livingroom floor, newspapers in the bathroom, dishes in the sink, the cat's fur starts to clump on the carpet....then, WHAM! Pig sty again.

Pookie, I love him so, and he cleans up nice, don't get me wrong...but I think he might even be worse than I am. He's a more thorough tidier than me, certainly, but I'm -sure- that when I lived by myself last year I could actually keep my apartment clean for almost a week at a time. Now: two days. Tops. I'm not sure how many sets of clothes he wears per day, or what ointments he needs in the bathroom, or if he really feels that butter, mayonaise, relish, rice casserole, milk, bread deserve to be left on the counter and/or with their lids off/bags open. I mean, yeah, the rice is in the fridge, but whenever I put it there (lid on) the rice isn't turning yellow-y within a day.

I am solely responsible for the pile of newspapers and reading material in front of the toilet. I admit it.

But I think the mistreatment of our foodstuffs is a far more heinous crime.

Why this sudden rant?

Because when I sat down at the computer, I heard a thump. The thump of a cat landing after jumping off of a high place. I turned and looked, and Lo! Our cat. The only high place around? The counter. Atop the counter? Our tub of margerine. Lid off. Cute little cat lick-marks within.

I don't blame the cat. He can't help it. Like all cats, he has the pure blood of satan flowing through him. He must follow his baser instincts. It's what he does. Plus he scurried outside before I could begin to scold him (sad, isn't it? I can only scold, not yell. I don't often shout at animals. In my experience shouting only causes them to look at you blankly).

And so, I will now go to sleep, then go to work, then work, then come home, and then sleep, and then Pookie and I will have a nice chat about how we can both do better.

Cheers,

The Magus

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