Why I love him

2002-05-02 - 12:11 a.m.

I was going to write about something, but a co-worker's question drove it out of my head.

So I'll write about this, instead.

My boyfriend, who I seem to be talking about a lot lately, so I'll call him Pookie, after Garfield the cat's teddy bear, has started his work-term, basically training to be a chaplain, either in a hospital or a jail. I think he'll do better in a jail, but since I don't really know much about catholicism, chaplaincies, or prisons, I can't say for sure. Anyway, his workterm is actually at a hospital this time.

He was nervous, partly because we can't afford pants and he's wearing all these dress pants that fit him two years ago but cut off circulation today.

Today was day three of orientation and training, mainly dealing with the neo-natal centre.

I guess one of his responsibilities will be to handle still-borns and self-aborted fetuses, so they fingerprinted and handled and dealt with a 15-week-old fetus. The parents had named it "Helen". It was 10 inches long and fully formed. They dealt with Helen for much of the day, and Pookie learned that abortions can legally be performed almost up until term (I'm not so sure of this, and maybe he misunderstood, but since I've never looked up on this I could be way off...) though it's apparently really difficult to find a doctor who will after the first trimester.

Obviously, dealing with a tiny being, even if it was not a complete being (but it had finger prints) has deeply affected Pookie...

Now is not the time to talk with him. Because both of us have strong feelings about abortion, and I was not a part of his experience today, so mine haven't changed all that much. But his have, if subtley.

Today we had a discussion about abortion, and he said that he felt it should not be used as a method of birth control. I responded that I agreed, but that the vast majority of people who have, and advocate for abortion rights, do not even consider abortion a method of birth control. He disagreed. He wants to think that while abortion should be allowed, that it should be more strictly monitored, that some women should not be allowed to have one.

It feels like he's taken a step to the right, though I know it's basically a natural response to seeing life thwarted and that when his emotions are so raw, it's easy for him to express anger, sorrow, and it's frustrating for him to come against my cold logic, or at least my own emotions and reasonings that haven't been affected by witnessing something so visceral.

It's just one of those situations where the best thing to do is just quietly be there while he speaks, to listen to the love he has for every being, to remind myself why I love him so much.

It's also one of those times when seeing him for only two hours before he must go to bed and I must go to work really sucks.

Cheers,

The Magus

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