A Prelude to Death

2002-05-03 - 12:08 a.m.

We have invited death into our house.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Pookie has informed me that for the next 11 weeks he will be in the paliative care unit on his work term, which means, for us lay-folk, he'll be dealing with the dead and dying and their relatives.

I'm not sure what to expect, or how he'll deal with that, and I'm not sure if I have the emotional strength to handle so much death. He has a spiritual life that goes deeper than mine in some ways, and so for him death is simply a part of life, a stepping-stone toward something greater.

His job will be to basically hold the hands of people as they take these steps, to guide them as best as he is able through their fears and emotions, or even to just be there while they live their last days. He will also talk with their relatives and will be there for them, to help them through losing loved ones.

I'm not so sure there is anything after death. It would be nice, sure, if there was, but that's something I can't know until I'm dead and gone. My experience with death is limited to my grandfather, who I barely knew but saw lying in a casket, and my dog, who I loved and saw put to death because she was old.

I'm afraid for Pookie, and maybe a little afraid of him. I'm not sure if I can help him at all in this task, and I'm not sure what I'll do if he gets hurt (which he will).

But I'm also filled with awe and respect, because he is doing something that I don't have the courage to do, and he's doing it to help people, out of his love for our species, and no matter how much I hate to see him hurt, I also know that this is a good thing for him. This will help him to grow stronger, to evolve further into the wonderful, brilliant, compassionate soul that I see in him.

Cheers,

The Magus

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