A sense of accomplishment

2003-10-31 - 2:01 a.m.

I just wrote an entry, but I checked some of my older entries, and I have indeed been alcohol free for the longest period of my adult life (since turning, say, 20?), 31 days. Last year, around this time, I gave up drinking and wrote a few entries about how horrible drinking was, and how I needed to change, and how I was making things harder for myself by spending a significant portion of my money and time getting wasted.

I believe I lasted three weeks before I went out and got drunk (to celebrate my finishing last year's nano novel) and then everything returned to the way things had been.

I also wrote something about resolutions, and how I felt I had accomplished everything I wanted to at the time. I suppose it'd be nice to look at things again...

Smoking: I have been a non-smoker for just about 2 years. I still, every now and then, get a small twinge of a craving and wonder if they've changed cigarettes since I quit and if they're any better now, but these moments are rare and incredibly weak.

Fitness: I've been going to the gym regularly for the better part of 15 months. I'm down about 5"-6" in my paints waist-size (I was 44" going on 45" two years ago, I am now wearing "relaxed fit" 38"s, which are really larger than 38 inches, but they're really loose on me, so I can probably do with a normal 38" waist pair of jeans). My weight hasn't changed much, but my health has. I have biceps that, if you squint, you can kinda sorta see even if I'm not flexing. Yay! I have more energy, I think, and I feel better about myself more often, which is nice. My next goal is to start being more conscious of what I'm eating. I hate dietting, so my goal is to just start making small changes (ie, eating more vegetables, chosing healthy foods when eating out, etc).

Writing: Not so great here. I've been writing more in the last couple of months, and nanowrimo has me all charged up, but I could definitely start focusing on this part a little more. Still, I can't actually say that I've stopped writing, because it's still a part of my life, still something I do.

Drinking: Well, 31 days. 'Nuff said. We'll see how this goes. On the bright side, all my memory is accounted for and I have witnessed a dramatic reduction in the number of outrageously stupid acts I've committed in the last month.

Coffee: I don't drink coffee anymore. It's been months (August, maybe?) since I've had coffee at work. I have no real idea how this managed to drop off without any real effort or strife on my part. I don't really miss it, except for the smell.

Education: I have an A+ on my transcript, and it looks like I'm going to have two more As come December. I may leave this Editing certificate course with a 4.0 GPA, which would completely, utterly rock. I also think I'm going to take a similar style course afterwards, but with a focus on publishing, and then start working on building my own little piece of capitalism.

Activism: I've been more active. I've participated in the largest anti-war protest ever in the history of, well, history. I'm working with the Indymedia people, and I think I'm starting to settle into some sort of idea of what my role will be.

And I guess that's it. That's me trying to develop some sort of a full life, and mostly succeeding. It's all tenuous, it can all fall apart in less than a month if I'm not careful, but it's mine. It's a sign that maybe if I do the work, I can maybe get something out of it. No matter what happens, I know that I have it in myself to improve and grow. No matter where and who I am, I know that I can make myself a better person.

Obviously, my mood is in the realm of "feelin' fine" right now.

Cheers,

The Magus

previous - next