In Which The Magus Lamely Attempts to Discuss Something Other Than the Obvious Subject and Fails Miserably.

2003-10-04 - 11:21 a.m.

If anyone tried the nanowrimo link in the last entry, I've fixed it now, so go to it all you writer-folk.

In other news, I think I'm going to buy a laptop, either this month or next. I can get a crappy used one for a decent price, it appears.

I seem to be holding up fairly well, some coworkers have said. Cheery as always. This is because I am a cold heartless scoundrel of a man.

The reason for the denial is relatively simple. Right now there are two possibilities: one is that everything is over, and eventually we will go our seperate ways and live out our lives. The other is that this is just another bump in the road and that we'll work through our problems.

Neither of those possibilities seem very appealing to me. And so, I'm focusing on a third possibility, somewhere just beyond "ignore it and it will go away." That possibility is the one where I realize that the only factor I can control is myself, and so I work on that, because whether Pookie and I work things out, or whether I eventually end up with someone else, the issues that I have must be dealt with or the exact same shit will happen again.

I think it may be easy for someone to think that I've assumed responsibility for what's happened, but that's not true. Both of us have shit to deal with, I think. There is no one "victim" of what happened. We're both the victim and the victimiser, and I'm not forgetting that.

I'm just deciding to worry about my responsibility in this case.

Cheers,

The Magus

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