Being an Advocate

2003-07-18 - 1:30 a.m.

I completely forgot to add a couple of actually interesting things.

The first is that I may have my first editing job, involving one of Pookie's school friends and her thesis. I'll be doing this gratis (because Pookie frowned when I asked him how much, and because his friend has since offered to barter bottles of alcohol for the work), but it will still be good experience. It will also be my first encounter with anyone's thesis, aside from Pookie's undergrad thesis, which was less an actual thesis and more of a really long essay.

The more interesting thing is that I got to experience real, actual, in-your-face homophobia, courtesy of 100 Huntley Street. It wasn't really so much in-my-face as it was over-the-phone, but it still was a happy little splash of cold water for someone who spends his life more-or-less accepted by the people around him.

100 Huntley Street, for those who don't know, is our little offering to the world of televangelism. Its format is that of a morning news/special interest program, except where more secular programs have vapid conversation and news-y updates on current events, 100 Huntley Street has vapid conversation about God and news-y updates on current events about God. It also offers a call-in prayer option, as well as special guests, and a lot of hellfire and brimstone in an upbeat and palatable form.

So, I awoke yesterday, and stumbled into the television room (Pookie is currently house-sitting, and so on my days off I visited him at the house that he was sitting on - hence the scarcity of updates lately) and saw that 100 Huntley Street was on. Normally I don't watch, mainly because it's not really my thing. I live with a Roman Catholic theologian, and I find that conversation and discourse about religion and faith is so much better than passively letting someone tell me whether or not I can get into Heaven. But for some reason, I decided to watch.

And, in between Bible readings (wherein Jesus told us that we should love each other), there was an interview where the show's ex-leader was talking about how he's resigned because he wants his life work to be the repeal of gay marriage. He felt he needed to defend marriage from the advances of homosexuals, and that he was representing a vast, diverse group of people comprised of all faiths, all creeds, all colours.

Of course, I'm for gay marriage (go figure), so I called the prayer line to complain.

I got an old man, who was completely not prepared for my (relatively calm and controled) plea for his understanding. After not being able to explain his homophobia, he reminded me that this was a prayer line, and gave me the number for the actual comments line.

So, I called, got a woman, and after some small talk (where she told me that she has no problem with homosexuals, but that God wanted us not to marry) I asked if she had any children. She said yes (I was expecting her to not answer, which is what I would do if someone asked me the exact same question when I was at work), and I asked her what she would do if one of her own were to be gay and to want to marry someone they loved.

Her answer was that she would always love her kids, but that she would remind them what the Bible said about homosexuality, etc. Kudos to her for the still loving her children bit...

My response, not well-thought-out, was to say "Well, I guess that's where my mom is better than your kids' mom." And I hung up.

Which I infinitely regret now. I had a chance to be something other than an uppity gay man who wanted his marriage toy. I had every reason to be angry, and I had some good reasons to take the woman to task about her ideas, but I didn't change anything. When I snarked and hung up on her, I closed the door, I became a footnote in her day ("Oh, and I had this call from another one...I'm just glad it was short and that he didn't swear at me.").

Pookie and I talked about what I did, and we talked about being "above reproach." Any group that's on the receiving end of prejudice, it seems, needs to be twice as good, as impressive, as eloquent as their oppressors to make any headway. I hate that. I hate being an example. I want to have been able to call the woman and her show stupid, without all this angst about missed opportunities, without wondering if I've given either of the two people that I talked with anything they can use to make themselves better people.

And, I think I'm upset that there was homophobia, right there, on television where just anyone can see it. A reminder that my children, when I have them, are more likely to find reasons why I'm a bad person than they are to find reasons why I'm not.

Cheers,

The Magus

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