Angst and the Novel

2003-01-22 - 5:44 a.m.

My brain is frizzled.

There seems to be all sorts of stuff going on in the world, what with the US dealing with Israel, Iraq, and the Koreas, with the government here in Canada, with leadership debates and a mayoral election coming up, with corporations still doing what they do (which is basically make a lot of money for a small amount of people while at the same time encouraging/brainwashing the rest of us to spend spend spend), environment problems (like the oil slick in Europe), South American turmoil, the Catholic Church's move to a more conservative/oppressive ideology in regards to homosexuality...

It's all too much, and I'm afraid that I'm letting myself lose focus, or at least I'm losing energy. Where -should- my efforts go? I don't even want to read the news...I just want to let it all slide off me, to go bury my head in the sand.

How can I suffer from burn out when I haven't done anything yet?

I live with a guy who has his Master's degree in Marketing!

I have this extra impetus to do things, but I can't make myself direct it towards activism.

Am I just preparing to roll over and let this world wash over me, to accept the things that I know are wrong, to -willingly- become a part of the problem?

I hope that I'm just cocooning, that the spring will come and I will emerge ready for action, that world won't seem so confused, so busy anymore, things will be more clear.

In less-angsty news, my novel is tentatively called "Blood in the Bathhouse." It will be a gay pulp-fiction-y murder mystery novel. I hope.

I have not read a single mystery since I stopped reading the "Encyclopedia Brown" series when I was twelve.

Cheers,

The Magus

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