The Beginning of the End

2002-12-27 - 5:53 a.m.

I think I've reached a point of change: my days here at work are numbered.

It hasn't been a big event, or an epiphany or anything: nothing specific, or, at this moment even general, has happened. I'm not planning on leaving next week, and it's likely that I'll still be here in a year, maybe a little more.

But something has clicked in my brain, a little counter that has stopped hoping for good work days (and there are a few) and has now started looking for signs that I'll be done with the midnight one-step-removed-from-phone-sex customer service job.

The biggest part is that Pookie and I spent time with each other. It was wonderful, it was fun, we talked more than we had in a while, and we played with each other. It wasn't even the playing we do when we're avoiding something. It was refreshing, it was like warm sunshine, to use a tired turn-of-phrase.

And then...work.

I work while Pookie is asleep, I sleep while he sits in the next room, quietly watching television. I can -feel- how lonely he must get. It's like someone has come and forced us to take everything down a level or two. When I'm just waking up, he's got a full day to talk about. When I'm starting -my- day, he's crashing and ready for bed. When I see him next, he's groggy and wanting 20 minutes of more sleep and I'm tired and hating all customers everywhere.

This pall has come on so suddenly, and somehow I'm feeling it so much more...

And this place does nothing for me. The co-workers are great, and it's not the most oppressive atmosphere, but it isn't going to catapult me into a new career, it has stopped giving me new perspectives, and as far as challenges: when I say I want to be challenged, I don't mean that I want to learn a new method of data input.

Working here is a paycheque. That is all.

So I'll be taking those courses in January, and Pookie will graduate next fall, and I'll hopefully find a job that is in the daytime, that has a minimum of dealing with "customers," and that pays me millions of dollars, and, most importantly, gives me a chance to write.

Cheers,

The Magus

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