Three, three, three entries in One!

2002-10-08 - 2:01 a.m.

It gets frustrating, being faced with people who disagree with you, but who also have a much better grasp on the situation or issue than you do. That doesn't make them -right-, mind, but it does make it increasingly difficult to argue with them.

This goes back to my having lost the ability to argue effectively. It's much easier to just ignore or turn away or shut it out, and then go back to my safe books and websites that let me know what I'd rather hear instead of facing challenges presented by differing opinions. When I do argue or debate, then, it comes from a place where I don't have much control, it comes from emotions and hunches, my own guesses at how the world works based on my experiences...there's no references available for how my early memories have tinted my beliefs.

That's part of the reason why I started the discussion forum, and why I'm hoping that it might actually challenge me. As a moderator, I can't always put my head in the sand, and hopefully with a few more members I'll be able to see discussions develop where the viewpoints and the facts brought into play are different enough to prompt me to grow.

My fear is that I won't be able to voice my own thoughts in a constructive way, that I'll come across as petty or emotional (and since when is that a bad thing?), that my own experiences won't be good enough, will be easily dismissable.

Obviously if I was a complete dork, you wouldn't be reading this, right?

I'm finding myself daydreaming about school again. Today I was imagining what my first year courses will be, and it looks like I may end up sacrificing my beloved BSc for a BA if I'm going to get the courses I want. Because other than Psychology, everything is an Art. History, German, English, Sociology (or maybe religious studies. Cringe.). These are my interests and I can't wait to have the texbooks, to sit in my first lectures, to complain to Pookie about my workload...

So, there's about 2 years before I go back, and I'm just going to wallow in my insecurities for a while.

And wow. Didja see that? How I just smooshed two seperate entries together? About debating and lack-of-school-woes. I might as well throw in a third.

If you want to ruin The Magus' day have him be almost run over. Twice. On the same street.

It that moment, if someone had given me a button that would have eliminated all car-type vehicles, I would have pushed it. Damn the consequences. I was envisioning cars exploding. I was so mad had being forced to admit to my own mortality. My hatred of cars is on the rise. I feel like I could easily become violent over this issue. I want cars to die die die.

Cheers,

The Magus

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