Interrupted Entry

2002-07-10 - 2:11 a.m.

Hm.

Pookie has one week left in his work term, and I'm just thinking about how easy, after the first few bumps, it's been for me to ignore the fact that he deals with dying people almost every day.

Some changes, though: He cries, now, almost every time he drinks. He cries for sad things and for beautiful things, but it can be counted on that if he is drinking he will cry. This is a good thing, I think, because I know that only a few months ago he was afraid to cry...he was afraid that if he opened up the floodgates the village would drown.

Other changes may be more subtle...he certainly claims to be a different person, and I guess he is...though, not so much. But then, am I just seeing him through our previous three-years-and-change? Am I just being resistent to his changes?

We've started to settle into some level of comfort, which I'm sure will be disrupted when he's back home for a month...he won't be working again until school starts...

And I've so completely lost the thread of where I was going with this.

I'm feeling all anxiety-ish. Squirmy, for some reason. Butterflies. I don't like this. Especially since I have no idea why. Everything, all of a sudden, grates, adds to this feeling. It's like a prelude to an anxiety attack. And this has seriously just started just now...I started the entry feeling fine, and now I want to find a safe corner and curl up.

Gah!

The Magus

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