Popularity and Problems

2002-06-19 - 12:07 a.m.

Hey, so after only one day of having my stats thing up, there were 32 hits on my site! And only 20 were mine! This means I'm more popular than I thought. Yippy!

And, someone else added me to their favourites. Woo hoo!

I must write some good, eh?

In other news:

Pookie is tired. Really tired. We lay in bed tonight before I came to work and when he was getting ready to go to sleep and tried to chat. His eyes were just blank. He had a talk with his school mentor-y person, a gay Jesuit who appararently just got his hair cut, and the mentor asked Pookie if he was doing anything for himself. And frankly, Pookie isn't.

Recurring theme: he takes on too much. Sometimes it's necessary, as in his work term now, which is basically 60 hours a week for him, plus homework. But other times it isn't. Pookie doesn't know how to live without worry, without stress. He tends to overwork himself until he reaches a breaking point, breaks, and then starts all over again.

I don't like seeing him tired like this...he looks completely hopeless, he can't find joy in things...that's not the way for someone to live.

I have to wonder if I couldn't be more help...but it almost seems sometimes like he needs a "wife," to fall back on old gender stereotypes. I think he wants someone to be home when he gets home, to have dinner ready and on the table, to have the house clean and to give the ocassional backrub. He reciprocates, sometimes, but "husbands" give their wives backrubs, too...they just aren't required to by law.

I'd make a lousy wife.

Closest I'll come is when he has a real job and I'm a stay-at-home writer. That's my dream job, and since I'd be bringing in a grand total of zero dollars a year, I'd also throw in being the primary caregiver for our hypothetical kids. But that's three or four years down the road.

Pookie needs me at home now, and unless things change in our immediate circumstances, I can't see how they will.

So, maybe we'll see each other on the weekend for longer than two hours, and maybe be able to talk and get to know each other. Because he says we're like strangers, and he's right.

Cheers,

The Magus

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