Flexible

2002-05-27 - 6:15 p.m.

So, completely unthinking, I called Will a "lady" the other night while we were in the middle of our usual verbal sparring match, not even realising it until a second later when I tried to cover it with a hastily formed "uh...sir."

I am completely embarassed, in large part because with Wil more than anyone, his sexuality has seemed more fluid. When we started working together, whenever I talked with Pookie about him, I had to catch myself from using male pronouns, even though at the time Will identified to most as female.

And now, barely a month since he's started on the hormones, I find myself slipping back into heteroland, into a world of black and white, male and female, straight and...whatever else.

Actually, it's not that bad.

Actually, moving here has been a great thing for me on that front. I've been fairly open to transgendered (and even that needs a better word) issues, even though I always stood by my comments, "But I really don't understand them."

Now I can see how...similar that is to a lot of soft-line homophobes regarding homosexuality.

I've met people who not only have come to realise and articulate their perceptions of gender, both theirs and "the world's", but who are also usually confident enough about themselves to make a change in the world.

I've come to appreciate people, ALL people, more for their "Them-ness" than for the categories I've put them in. Instead of "She's a cool chick." I can now say, "She's cool." Because the fictional "she" is not just a chick. She's a student, a person, a friend, a worker, an advocate...I'm seeing people whole (or more whole?), including their gender identity but not being bound by it.

So, even though I accidently called Will a lady, maybe that's a sign of my own increasingly flexible ideas of gender, and how silly most of those pronouns really are. Though I should have known better, since even without the testosterone, Will can kick my ass.

Cheers,

The Magus

previous - next