Svelte

2005-02-19 - 1:21 p.m.

Oh, also, my co-worker (man, I have thinking up pseudonyms, especially for people who have a name that is repeated about a billion times in my life. For example, I have counted, and right now I play on a rugby team with 17,864 "Teds". I may have carried too many ones, but you get the point. Which was that I hate pseudonyms. So my co-worker will remain just "my co-worker" for now. Luckily I only have one "co-worker", one "boss", and one "bosses wife who also works with me") called me "svelte" yesterday when I revealed that I'd lost 50-60 pounds in the last couple of years.

According to the dictionary, he was calling me "slender and elegant", which is really funny, because if you gave me a list of adjectives and asked me to rank them in order of how they applied to myself, I would probably ignore you. But if I didn't ignore you, "slender" and "elegant" would be pretty close to the bottom, near "even-tempered" and "emotionally stable".

But it reminds me that while I've had one mental picture of myself going on, everyone else that I've met lately has been seeing a completely different version of me. I'm using outdated information in my dealings with others, I guess. It's kind of frustrating, really, because now I feel like I need to give my life history to everyone I meet just so there aren't any misunderstandings. I do this a lot. I think it's one of the things that make me weird. Here's a fictional example of a conversation with me:

Me: I like raw oysters.
Person: Huh?
Me: Sorry, I was thinking about raw oysters.
Person: Oh. Okay. I guess they're okay.
Me: I was thinking about them because when I was a kid, my dad's family would give me a raw oyster or two when they were in season - is there an oyster season? - Anyway, and I kind of liked them.
Person: Oh.
Me: They're like mucous, you know? Anyway, I was thinking about my dad's family because my mom came to visit, and she said I was looking well, and my dad never really said that when I was younger because I was always over-weight. Someone called me svelte the other day, so I guess those times are over, ha ha.
Person: Okay. Well, this is my bus stop. Nice meeting you, you complete stranger you.
Me: Yeah. Oh! Wait! I have anger issues too! And social anxiety! And I can't remember if I was breast fed or not, but whichever it was I'm sure it had a serious and irreversible effect on my psyche!!
Person: (runs away)

I [i]think[/i] I might have a serious shot at being that kind of cute, mysterious guy who doesn't talk much but who seems to be liked by a lot of those around him, but to do that I need to stop self-disclosing so darn much. I've met avid self-disclosers older than myself, and they tend to make me uncomfortable.

Cheers,

The Magus

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