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I Have Agoraphobia! See my Agoraphobia!

Tenacious D Rocks.

Sexual Tension

2005-01-14 - 7:55 a.m.

After the executive meeting, a couple of us went over to one of the exec guy's places, mainly because someone had to pick up a video. We stuck around and sort of debriefed a little bit about how it went, mainly about a guy who I will call Deej, for no good reason.

Deej (I may have mentioned him before) is an attractive little guy, in his 40s, very aggressive, but usually in a friendly sort of way. He's the sort of person who would just naturally trample anyone around him. I kind of like him, but sometimes we get a sort of hero/sidekick vibe or bully/bullied vibe going on between us: he likes to do that annoying thing where you put your finger on someone's shirt and when they look down you bop their nose to me, for example. My best friend in junior high used the same dynamic with me to become my best friend, mainly because at the time I didn't know how to cope with that dynamic when I encountered it back then, but I've grown a little since junior high and am at least more self-aware of when it's happening. I think it's totally about the fact that I can come across as vulnerable but attractive (not necessarily in a sexual way) to some people, and those people like to take advantage of it, but they aren't quite threatening enough to make me really frightened of them and so it gets all weird and charged and people start putting their fingers on my shirt. In Deej's case, I like him, and I think we have a few things (personality-wise) in common, and we probably will eventually be something like friends, but I was pretty sure I had his number.

Anyway, at the meeting tonight, Deej was being his usual self, ie, argumentative and stubborn, even when everyone was agreeing with him. A fictional example would be:

Deej: "Guys, I think we should really do X. I think it's for the best."
Everyone: "We agree."
Deej: "Guys, you don't understand. We really have to do X."
Everyone: "We understand. You want us to do X. We agree with you, Deej."
Deej: "No, no, no, guys. If we don't do X, something horrible will happen..."

And so on.

Afterward, when a couple of the guys and I were talking about this, one of the guys said "It didn't help with all the sexual tension going on."

And wow, how did I ever miss that?! But wait: sexual tension? With who? How? What?!

There are five guys on the executive, including myself, and the guy who made the tension comment disqualified himself by later saying that Deej didn't see anything in him, which is entirely possible. I have a habit of not noticing sexual anything, but thinking back, I notice that Deej is always touching me and joking about getting me naked and whatnot, which, okay, that sounds like it would be obvious, but I can be oblivious.

The sexual tension comment could have been a joke, and I don't think that there's necessarily anything serious on Deej's part toward me. I'm getting a definite flirting feeling about this now, but Deej is also one of those people who uses sex to express affection, I think. He's a bit of a nympho. I think he likes me, but because sex is a default setting in his list of activities, and because we have that vibe I talked about before going on, the charge takes on a sexual colour.

Nothing would happen, mainly because sexually we're on completely different pages, and also because, the way our dynamic is set up, I wouldn't be able to trust him. So, nothing is likely to change.

But, next time we meet, I'm going to see if there is something to this sexual tension thing. If there is, I might be able to use it as leverage and maybe change our dynamic just enough that he stops putting his finger on my shirt and bopping my nose.

'Cause I really hate it when people do that.

Cheers,

The Magus

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