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Random Magey Goodness




I Have Agoraphobia! See my Agoraphobia!

Tenacious D Rocks.

Laundry List of Whines (that I can't wash, because the washing machine has not yet been replaced)

2005-01-08 - 5:10 p.m.

I wish that my apparent life lesson wasn't "Don't count your chickens..."

Today, for example, I discovered that my dad hadn't sent me any money (he forgot that banks were closed on Saturdays and so didn't get to it yesterday), and it turns out that the new washing machine won't be coming because the old washing machine evidently existed before the house, and the walls organically grew up around it, so it cannot be removed without tearing off a corner.

So I'm still poor and smelly.

This adds to the "If The Magus expects something, and comes to depend on its happening, it will not come to pass" theme that was established when I quit my job, assuming I'd have found a new one before January, when I went to the EI office with an envelope containing what I thought was the crucial form but really contained a letter saying that they did not have my crucial form, and with the job interview that never happened.

Other examples since October include: the cheque for the editing job I did that still hasn't arrived, the scratch-and-win ticket that I won $10 on, but Pookie lost when he went to cash it in, and the deposit cheque from my last place of residence that has yet to arrive.

Pookie wants to remind me that I have had some good stuff happen, too, which is true: my parents gave me lots of money in addition to lectures about how I lived my life, how I'm living my life, and how I will live my life in the future.

Okay, here's a problem: I can't think of anything else unusually good that's happened lately. Something good must have happened, or else I would be a slobbering mess of depression, right? Does discovering a typo on my resume after only sending it out to 35 places instead of a million places count as good? Being able to rescue my resume and cover letter from my laptop before it died? The billing lady for my outstanding phone bill being understanding when I explained my unemployed status?

(Time passes while The Magus looks longingly at the oven, wondering if his hair would ignite before he passed out and if it would hurt. Ha! Just kidding, and this kind of morbid humour is not funny, kids, so don't try it at home)

Most of my good things, after thinking about them a bit, are of the "Well, it could be worse: it could be raining fire or you could be trapped in a rebel insurgancy" variety. I'm not as depressed as I could be, for example, more because I don't really feel like I have anyone to talk to and so have been carefully shoving all of those hopeless and painful emotions as deep as possible so that they might return one day like a "Night of the Living Dead" of the psyche than because of any actual cheeriness. The days aren't getting shorter any more. The weather has been kind of nice. I've been good about going to the gym (even though it means I haven't given Pookie any rent money). I have every single one of my limbs in relatively good working order. I've been talking with Eli, the erstwhile houseguest, a bit more lately and we're getting along, our friendship is stronger now, after a long period where I was fretting that we wouldn't have anything in common anymore. It turns out we're both having trouble finding jobs and we're both staving off depression through desperate humour. If we're ever both employed and happy, though, the friendship is off! My cats are healthy and relatively happy in the larger (but subterranian) apartment. They're destroying every piece of furniture Pookie owns, of course, but that's okay, I guess. New York was really fun. I guess that's a big one, so I'm glad I remembered it.

This whole entry has been one giant laundry list of whines, and I'm sorry for that. I needed to get it out on paper, in the hopes that it won't continue swirling around in my head. I hope I sleep the whole night through tonight.

Cheers,

The Magus

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