Typing in the Dark

2004-10-26 - 1:13 a.m.

I have insomnia, though it's not the bad kind. It's the kind where I'm more like a 6 year old who's been over-stimulated. I lie down and a billion thoughts at once go through my head.

Most of them are about rugby, mainly because I'm actively trying to quell the thoughts that are dealing with being unemployed. I'm trying to figure out how I'd write about the different guys.

I do this a lot, with different people. I try to figure out what the essence of someone or something is. How to describe that sense of anxiety I feel when that woman smiles, or how I'd capture that man's odd gait. What words would I use? What rhythm?

Through rugby, I've been more social with more new people than I have been in a long time. It's an unfamiliar sort of people, too. So my head's filled with all of these traits and impressions and reactions and theories. Which is what's keeping me awake.

I'm wondering now if my anxiety is somehow connected to my writing in this way. I think about people a lot. I wonder what people would say, I wonder what they think, what random connections they make.

Nanowrimo starts in less than a week. I hope that helps me get some peace in my head...

Oh, there is now a picture of me on the web, for the rugby bachelor auction (have I mentioned this yet? Yikes.). I'll upload it somewhere soon. It's not a great picture, so I expect to disappoint a lot of you. I also expect you all to tell me how wonderful I look, too, because you're vicious liars and I love you all.

I should try to sleep now. Also, because it's dark, I wrote this entire entry without being able to see the keyboard at all! I am now a master of the "Forget the hunt, just peck" typing method*.

I was told today that I'm really funny and that my sense of humour is going to get me a lot of sex.

I'm possibly a natural at rugby, I've been told by about a zillion people, including Pookie** and our friend Wryly (both of whom came out to watch me play on Saturday).

Stupid compliments are making it really difficult to justify self-pity.

Cheers,

The Magus

*Spoke too soon: it took me 6 tries to find the "y" for "typing".

**For some reason it took me 3 tries to find the second "o" in Pookie.

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