Truth 2

2002-11-30 - 6:32 p.m.

So....

Hey! Alcohol!

Hi!

I'm going to be drinking a lot of you. Part of it is self-aware self-anger. Part of it is...well, being angry at myself but being aware of that anger.

I feel like shit whenever I drink lately, which, really, is why I did the "Truth" entry.

If I continue to feel like shit about it, I can continue to do it.

Here is the reason why I am drunk: A Novel!

Here is a true story: I knew I was going to buy alcohol to celebrate. I didn't like the idea, I hated it. It made me sick (woo hoo, cliche!). But, that's what my prize was.

So, I finished the Fifty grand. It finished with this conversation: "Hey R. I know you love this work station, but I have, like, 500 words left, out of fifty thousand, and I'm on a roll. You'll have to wait about half an hour."

R: "Oh, well, since -I'm-* the person working, I think I can suffer."

*her emphasis.

Mental note: since I like "her" computer, remind me to boot her ass off of it next time I relieve her.

And then we fought about Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

So: I had already planned to drink. Lucky for me, I had a fight with a co worker. That is, absolutely, the perfect reason to drink.

So, I actually stood outside of the liquor store. It was open, but I stood outside, hesitating in front of the door.

I realized that I would feel like shit if I drank at all. So I went to buy some books.

Yay! Fiction books! That aren't MDiv-related, at least directly! Huzzah!

And then I deliberately bought vodka and mix.

And drank it.

And, I will continue to drink until...

until...

Cheers.

Somebody.

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